My problem (well, one of them, anyway) is that I think too much. I spend way too much time alone, inside my own head, gauging the world as it relates to me. I get lost considering how things affect me, thinking about what I want and need, what I should be doing, and how I should be doing it. It’s only when I get out into the real world and gain perspective that I come to my senses, and realize that the myriad of problems I encounter are usually of my own making.

Free time is deadly. If my brain isn’t engaged, it makes its own entertainment. Which is never a good thing! Yesterday one small thing didn’t happen that I expected to happen, and combine that with no work and too much time to think and before you know it, I’ve spun a whole world of distress for myself.

I swear, I’m a nut job.

And it’s a slippery slope. Once I start into that dysfunctional thinking, I can’t stop myself. You know how you never notice a blue car until you buy one, and then every car you see is blue? Well, all it takes is one negative thought to pop into my head, and next thing you know it’s invited the extended family, and I have a whole neighborhood of negativity dancing in my brain. Luckily it also works in the other direction – I just need for that one thought to be positive instead of negative, and I’m on cloud nine.

As I said, nut job.

It takes so little to shove me from one extreme to the other. I don’t know how folks can keep up with me. I blame it on my whimsical, dreamer Pisces nature, but it’s probably because I.Think.Too.Much.

If the Broncos game hadn’t been so awful, I would have been thinking more about it and less about the plans I had that didn’t come through yesterday. I apologize in advance to those who have to listen to me complain about stuff that, in the end, either doesn’t happen, didn’t happen, or never was going to happen.

Anyway, now that I’ve realized it, hopefully I can learn to keep my brain occupied and steer clear of the quicksand of emotions that never ceases to derail me.

The coming week is going to be stellar. I have lots to do to get ready. I just need to focus on that, and not on those little things that eat away at me. The princess and the pea.

Here’s to a life lived OUTSIDE of my overworked brain! Oh, and Happy Halloween to all of those who celebrate…I won’t be wearing a costume, and doubt anyone will come over for candy, so I’ll probably be watching Monday Night Football – and trying not to think.

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9 Responses to I.Think.Too.Much.

  1. For what it’s worth, that sounds like a pretty standard side effect of novelist brain. Your brain is wired to tell stories. If you don’t give it constructive space to tell those stories, i.e. writing, it doesn’t stop telling them. The driver in the next car over frowns at you. Probably means nothing to do with you, but story brain has to have a narrative arc for the interaction so it makes something up. I do it all the time. I’m fairly unusual in that I’m a writer who is not also a depressive, but the two run together quite often, and I think it’s got a lot to do with the inability not to create a narrative for every little thing.

    • Beth says:

      It’s worth a lot, Kelly. And makes a lot of sense. I spin scenarios from nothing. Hadn’t thought of it as being a side effect of that part of my brain needing to be doing something. Guess I’d better start another book, or be doomed to shooting myself in the emotional foot on a regular basis. Thank you for the insight, and for taking time to comment – I know you’re swamped. Big hugs.

  2. Richard says:

    I try to be a wise sage – but all I can say is (again) – men – we are COMPLETELY unreliable……..:-)

    • Beth says:

      LOL! Why does everyone think this is about a man?! I would agree with you, RB. You are indeed a wise sage. I will tattoo that on my forearm so as to remember it next time I expect a man to do something – thanks! 🙂

      • Richard says:

        As she deftly avoids the subject…..:-) Well done – and see – Ben Franklin was right. If you prepare for the worst, when the best comes along we will appreciate it all the more (or something like that).

        • Beth says:

          I’ve always believed one should prepare for the worst, then one isn’t disappointed when it happens, and is pleased when it doesn’t. And the whole situation resolved itself soon after we had this interchange – I’m a lost cause, my friend. Or a Pisces….

          • Richard says:

            always remember – one Pisces to another – we are our own worst enemy. The information age has caught up with us and we expect immediate satisfaction. Slowly…..slowly…..slowly…..always better when you go nice and slow…….

            ps – I really am that evil…..but fun none the less…..:-)

            • Beth says:

              Evil and fun are mutually exclusive??

              You are so right, Grasshopper. I just have to believe. Me and Tinkerbell….and breathe.

              Right now I’m drinking chocolate martinis, and wishing you guys were here to join me. Though I don’t think rum-soaked pineapple would go with it….

              Thanks RB. Big hugs.

            • Julie says:

              I was going to say when I started reading your post… Pisces over-dreamers are we! 😉
              Good idea about writing that Kelly suggests….

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