Pete and Repeat

I’m working on creating books of my old blog, year by year, before my laptop dies and I lose the cached entries I found. It’s been a nostalgic day, living in a world where my old blog still exists. As much as I try to find the same passion for this one, I haven’t been able to. Maybe I should add the posts from the old blog to this one….when I have a couple of months with nothing to do!

Anyway, I’m working on 2006 right now, and although I’m not taking the time to read the entries, I have been skimming them. And didn’t realize that I’ve been singing the same song for five years, trying to figure out where I’m supposed to live, where my place is in this great big world. Moving here and calling it home, moving there and doing it all over again.

Aren’t y’all tired of reading about that?! Heck, I wrote the entries, and I’M tired of reading about it!

Good heavens, talk about beating a dead horse (with apologies to horses and horse-lovers everywhere). It’s definitely time that I make a decision – or at least stop writing about it. Or accept that I’m a gypsy, a citizen of nowhere and everywhere at the same time, and stop trying to be something else.

Anyway, it’s interesting stepping back and reading what I was thinking, five years ago. Who I loved, what I feared, how I spent my days. The places I lived, the people I knew, the things I did. I’m excited about finishing the books and having them on my coffee table, so I can flip through them and revisit my past. My favorite kind of history: the kind you can touch. (I fear I’ll never convert to an e-reader.)

But right now it’s painstaking work, formatting text, inserting pictures, deciding on layouts. Not that I’m complaining – it’s a project I’ve meant to do forever, just haven’t taken the time. And now that I have it, it’s a good time to get it done.

I can see putting together a book, when I’m finished with these, compiling my “deep thoughts.” Maybe something that I can actually sell in some format. But in the meantime, this is filling my free time, so I’m not sitting around thinking about what I don’t have and what I’m not doing. And who I’m not.

But today I’m taking a break. A college friend lives a couple of hours away, so I’m going to spend the day with her and her kids. She’s promised grilling and swimming, which sounds like the perfect way to spend a holiday. No thinking, no planning, no questioning. Just relaxing with someone who knew me “back when.”

There’s nothing like old friends.

Of course, Tropical Storm Lee might have different plans…but we’ll still have fun, whatever happens.

Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. Maybe I need to take the time to read through my writings and see if I can learn anything from myself. Maybe the answers have been there all along.

If I find something interesting, I’ll share. But only if it’s new and different, and not the same ol’ same ol’. Thanks for hanging in there with me through all of my ramblings. I’m so glad you keep coming back for more!

And once the books are done, they’ll be available for sale if you’re interested. You can bet I’ll let you know when they are!

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2 Responses to Pete and Repeat

  1. Brancy says:

    I did that recently with REALLY old stuff and my lament was that I could hardly even relate now to who I was back then. I really couldn’t believe what I was focused on and dwelling on back then. I expect the same thing will happen 20+ years from now if I am still here.

    As far as rambling about where you are going and all that and deciding not to anymore, I don’t know…it’s obviously a quest of yours, regardless of how long you have been on it and until you do decide to give into your gypsy nature or find a place that you don’t want to leave, I think writing about whatever is going on in your life and your mind at the time, is totally what a blog is suppose to be about. Until you mentioned it, I didn’t even think about the fact that you have been writing about that so long, I just see it as your quest and expect you to, like people with kids talk about them all the time or some people go on about their jobs a lot, or whatever. I think that’s human nature, but you also write scads of entries on places you go, times you’ve had, current events and things that concern you.

    I guess it goes back to what are blogs truly for, others or ourselves. For me, writing is definitely therapeutic…I can start a page asking a question about my life and by writing I can sometimes come up with the answer…in fact lots of times, so rambling writing is a must for me, but I must admit, I have a handwritten journal for that stuff and my blog is just for the public, probably why I don’t write in it very often!! = )

  2. Beth says:

    Thanks, Nancy! It’s interesting that people who have met me during the last few years only know me as a gypsy, whereas to my long-time friends, this is a fairly new development. it’s interesting to compare myself to those who talk about their kids – makes it a little less tiresome, I guess! And I guess my blogging IS therapeutic, otherwise I wouldn’t ramble on forever about my ponderings. Anyway, thanks for continuing to stop by, and take the time to comment! xo

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