Okay, I’m still giggling over these. (Some people are amused more easily than others.) And as you can imagine, I’ll be flipping back and forth between the Boise State and the Oregon games tonight – gotta support my NW teams!! First College Football Saturday of the season – woo hoo! Color me happy! (See above note re some people being amused more easily than others.)
Anyway, here are some smiles for a Saturday morning. Go Broncos!
You can’t make the same mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s a choice.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a video camera these days, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room while you get undressed, as if they’re not going to look up there anyway?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
And this is my favorite….
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out”?