Time for a laugh break. I’m in NC visiting my aunt and working today, so until I have time to come up with something deep, this made me laugh…
I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay Jewelers.
I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.