Sailboats and harbors

I was talking to a friend the other day about a situation where things didn’t turn out as I’d hoped they would. I told her that I didn’t consider it a failure, because at least I tried. She responded that it never was a question of failing, that I succeeded the moment I made the decision to follow my heart. (I wear it prominently on my sleeve, so it’s hard to ignore.)

I said that I didn’t see it that way. That instead, I see myself like a little sailboat in a big sea, buffeted by the wind and the waves. Constantly changing direction, with no home port. But then when I’m docked, I’m always tugging at that doggone anchor chain, trying to get back to sea.

And so it seems to me. Every time I try to do something “normal,” it backfires. Yet I keep trying, keep attempting to fall into step with everyone around me, follow their path instead of mine. Yet it never works. You think I’d learn…

Maybe one of these days I’ll learn to accept that little sailboat bobbing on the waves, seeking new ports. Anchoring from time to time, but not lashing itself to one place. At least for now, anyway.

But until then, I guess the best I can do is continue to follow my heart, and see where it takes me. Maybe someday it’ll lead me to safe harbor…

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6 Responses to Sailboats and harbors

  1. pat says:

    Uh ohhh, I worry about you when I see this type of post…are you up and moving again?

    I loved your blog about Flagstaff…gorgeous country. I was there once on Memorial Day and it was snowing…lightly, but snowing. But, the next day the temp was back in the sixties and the weather was just perfect. I thought then that it would be a GREAT place to live!

    • Beth says:

      Pat, you’re sweet to worry. But up and moving is the norm for me. 🙂

      Flagstaff looked like a great place to live – I’ve always heard good things about it. Now I know why!!

      Thanks for stopping – and for caring.

  2. Julie says:

    I second the Uh Oh! It would be nice to have a home port from which to radiate and travel. But, some carry their homes with them. Those type of homes are usually called shells. 😉 Wishing you the best, Beth!

  3. Deb D. says:

    I think the best thing about this post might be the quotation marks around the word “normal”.
    Whatever our individual life is… that is what is “normal” to that individual.
    There are many different “normals” in the world… Thank God for that!

    I know there is an “average” out there, but let’s keep that word to math formulas and not to our life’s experiences.

    • Beth says:

      I guess I’ve never claimed to be normal…then again, I don’t really know anyone else who has, either! 🙂 Guess I need to remember that when I’m feeling abby normal…

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