I swear I’m not leaving the condo this weekend.
Well, okay, I probably will. But it’s nice to know that I don’t have to. I have a ton of stuff to do, as always. Someday I hope to feel caught up, and spend a day reading or watching movies or taking a long walk, without that tape running in my head. “You should be doing X. You haven’t done Y. You’re never going to get Z done.” I always have a list.
I come by list-making honestly. My father always had a to-do list. In fact, when he died and I flew down to Florida to help my mother, I found his clipboard hanging in his office, with his list for the following day – a day he’d never see. The first items on it were get up, shave, and shower. He said that he liked to put things like that on his list because he could cross them off and feel like he’d accomplished something. (Lori’s favorite story about my dad!)
I have lots of lists. I have my “to do” list and my “to buy” list. When I’m feeling particularly particular, I make a “to do someday” list. I have a white board on the fridge where I plan to note the things I want to do and places I want to see in Phoenix and AZ (haven’t had time to do that yet). Each day I make a smaller “to do today” list – although I rarely complete everything on it – and carry it around with me.
I’m not sure if making lists is a good thing or a bad thing. The good part is that I don’t forget things if they’re written down. And it feels great to cross something off the list when I’ve done it. The bad part is that each time I look at the list, it’s a reminder of all of the stuff I haven’t done, and can’t find time to do, so it’s kind of depressing.
I’m a big believer in having goals and dreams – you have to have something to work toward, to keep moving forward in life. But maybe that also means that I’ll never be satisfied, if I’m always looking ahead. I know I feel satisfaction when I finish writing a book, or a song – or even cleaning the kitchen. But I keep hoping for that day when I can sit back and think, “I have done everything that I need to do.” Now THAT would be nice.
Anyway, I haven’t planned my weekend yet. I know it’ll involve finishing a couple of songs, because I have a deadline. It’ll involve completing some assignments for my transcription job, because there’s also a deadline for those. Hopefully take a walk or a bike ride, because the weather is getting better and better, and I spend way too much time inside, not experiencing it. I know there’s more that I have to do…but I haven’t looked at my list today, so have no clue what’s on it.
Except taking a shower. My father would be pleased. 🙂
Here’s hoping for a productive weekend for all of us, but one that also involves a little relaxation. I think we’ve earned it!